Posted by: highmountainmuse | February 20, 2009

It all comes together

In the mountains, we are closer to life, closer to death.  It is all around us, every day, a part of our breath, the beat of our heart, the view before us, the ground below our feet. 

 

Yesterday, a filly was found dead. A two year old horse. Where is the “right” in this?  We do not judge.  We have to accept, learn, move on, do better. At the same time, we began to build a new foaling shed for Tres who is due in about a months time. This is what life is about in the mountains. As you mourn the loss of one, you prepare for the birth of another.  One tree falls, another grows in its wake. 

 

We were gathering materials from the junk piles, Bob dragging them by snowmobile and stacking them on the snow in place where we will be building the new shed. But we couldn’t build the shed under the threat of this huge Blue Spruce falling on it, and that tree was on its way down.  I have been watching the roots inch their way out of the ground over the past month or so, able to notice this as my archery target was leaning against the base of the tree, so I’d actually see the difference each week as I practiced with my long bow. The past week was the worse, with the roots popping up above the ground, exposing fresh dirt underneath daily.  The tree was going soon.  If we let it fell on its own, chances were it would take down the two good trees next to it, or at least get caught up in them and be a real hazard. The lean of the tree was so great that it seems the most direct path was into those trees, but altering its fall could also land the giant tree on top of two tiny Spruce, each no more that a few years old, just popping above the snow level.  These trees are precious to us, and life is hard enough up here. 

 

Bob felled the big tree just right, clearing the neighboring trees and missing by inches the baby Spruce that will grow in place of the old big one. The three of us worked together to clean up the branches, sorting some for a burn pile, others saved aside for craft projects.

Then Bob bucked the wood into lengths, and we found ourselves with three good sized logs. These will be the start of a new log wall for making that Little Cabin by the Big River just a little bit bigger.

gathering materials for building the new foaling shed, note the big leaning tree in the background.

gathering materials for building the new foaling shed, note the big leaning tree in the background.

getting ready to fell the big leaning tree.

getting ready to fell the big leaning tree.

then bucking the logs that will be the walls as we build onto the little cabin by the big river.

then bucking the logs that will be the walls as we build onto the little cabin by the big river.

So, now we can go back to building that foaling shed for Tres. And by the way, we’re building it on skidders, of course, so that after foaling season, we can drag it down to its permanent location near the Little Cabin by the Big River.

 

See how it all just comes together sometimes? Planning for the future, helping us live in the present, healing us of the past. In our sadness, we still have work to do, we have a new foal on the way. It may not be a cure, but it is an understanding, and then it all just becomes part of life, not good or bad, but just what it is, the way it has to be. All the piece to the puzzle fit together. And despite the areas of darkness and sharp edges, the puzzle before us shows us a picture of a very beautiful world.

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Responses

  1. […] Natural Health Product Review and Discussion put an intriguing blog post on It all comes togetherHere’s a quick excerpt In the mountains, we are closer to life, closer to death.  It is all around us, every day, a part of our breath, the beat of our heart, the view before us, the ground below our feet.    Yesterday, a filly was found dead. A two year old horse. Where is the “right” in this?  We do not judge.  We have to accept, learn, move on, do better. At the same time, we began to build a new foaling shed for Tres who is due in about a months time. This is what life is about in the mountains. As you mo […]

  2. So inspiring the way you found solace during this difficult time.

  3. I believe loving nature/animals teaches us that valuable lesson, that death is a part of life. Not that it makes the pain any easier but like you have said before it helps us heal by not allowing us to stand still for too long and at the same time giving us hope of things to come. I’m saddened by the loss of your filly but looking forward to hearing about the birth of Tres’ foal.

  4. Oh, I am so sorry. And the circle continues…

  5. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR HORSE .IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS I LOST MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER AND HAD TO HAVE MY DOG PUT DOWN BECAUSE SHE WAS SO OLD .PEOPLE MIGHT THINK IT STRANGE BUT I MISS BOTH SOMETIMES IT SEEMS LIKE ABOUT THE SAME . BOTH WERE FAMILY .I SHED TEARS FOR BOTH NEATHER WILL EVER BE FORGOTTEN EVER .MY DAUGHTER LEFT ME THREE GRAND CHILDEREN TO LOVE AND REMIND ME OF HER . MY DOG IS JUST GONE WITH ONLY MEMORYS OF HER . SO YOU JUST KEEP HEADING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND LOVE AND KEEP THE ONES YOU STILL HAVE CLOSE . SO MUCH FOR MY RAMBLING .KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT .YOUR RIGHTING GIVES ME A GOOD WORDS EYE VIEW OF THE LIFE I WISH I STILL HAD

  6. Don, I don’t know if you get my reply comments. I hope so. I want to say something, but I don’t know what yet. So much I want to say but it feels like I am backed up with my heart in my throat. I am going out alone up the mountain for the afternoon, and I will have time to think and hopefully be able to say something far more worthy to you later, but for now, please know I think I do understand, and I am so, so sorry for both losses.
    gg

  7. Hi Don, I felt compelled to let you know how sorry I am for the tremendous loss of your precious daughter and your dear fuzzy family member. Since I have no human children I can truly say I cannot possibly comprehend the heartbreaking loss you must feel for your daughter but I can feel your pain for the loss of your dog. I, too, had to make the decision to have my faithful friend put down in 2004. She taught me so much in life that I never would have learned from humans and I know I am a better person because she taught me about true loyalty and friendship and the meaning of life. I still cry and miss her even after all this time because, as you said, they are family members. I am so glad you have your grandaughters to love and hold close just like you said in your comment to Gin. Hope you don’t mind me commenting but I just wanted you to know you touched my heart.

  8. Karen, Once again you are so sensitive and thoughtful. Don’s been on my mind all afternoon, but I couldn’t think of the right words. I think more often than not, just reaching out to each other with understanding is all we need if we are sincere. And I know how sincere you are. Thank you.

  9. THANK ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTS . LIFE WILL GO ON BUT THE MEMORYS WILL EFFECT YOU FOR EVER .

  10. Gin, oftentimes I would like to respond to people who have posted so I asked Ron how the blogging thing works (since he reads lots of blogs) and he said that getting to know people is a part of it and it is common to have readers having conversations inside the blog, so I went ahead and posted the comment to Don.

  11. One of the reasons I started this blog was because with my lack of real neighbors, I still have as a human being the need to reach out to communicate and share with others. So I can consider this all quite selfish! But I have “met” some wonderful real humans like Don, and had the opportunity to get to know better some remarkable people like Karen, and at the end of every day feel very, very lucky to be one part of a sense community. Things have changed – your neighbors don’t have to live next door. Often times the best neighbors live very far away.

  12. Beautifully written.

    For those of us that live a little closer to the land than others, I think we must find that which pulls us through. As terrible as death is, we must work (and I mean the back breaking kind) through. A moments pause is all we get before the next thing must be attended to, family fed, livestock watered, garden tended.

    I’m sorry for your loss

  13. […] you have the time, please see previous posts, It all Comes Together, Tres, and the Story of Bayjura for some history to this […]


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